Moving with kids in tow

I just read a blog on a Single Parent’s site about when, if ever, is the best time to relocate kids to a new home. The writer correctly stated, in my opinion, that every kid is different as far as readjusting is concerned, but sometimes it can get harder as they move into their teens and have established strong roots of friendship and familiarity.

Many of us have moved with kids in tow and have encountered all types of problems – new schools, making new friendships, finding new interests, or just being plain sullen and miserable at having left their friends behind and blaming it all on Mom and Dad.

A couple of thoughts to anyone who is thinking of relocating with their kids :

For elementary and middle schoolers, try, if at all possible, not to move them just after the summer holidays have started. 2 reasons :

1. You will be faced with some long weeks of entertaining the kids who have not made any friends yet, as they haven’t been able to attend the local school.

2. They will start the fall semester along with every other new kid and no one will be making any special effort to make them feel at home. If they start school soon after the beginning of the school year they become the “new kids” and can be made special and probably be buddied up with someone by the teacher.

So the best option would be to move them into their new school a few weeks before the end of the school year so they have time to make some new friends with whom they can spend more time in the summer.

Or if that timing doesn’t work for your new job, don’t worry about possibly starting the new term a little late. The benefits of being made “special” and looked after far by the other students outweigh, in my opinion, the disadvantages of arriving a little late into the school year and having to catch up.

And, the other thought is, as someone who specializes in relocation, I encourage every parent relocating with kids to make sure that they find out where and how they can continue to participate in their sports or pursue their interests. We have totally turned several families around whose kids were adamant they didn’t want to move to Silicon Valley.

One I remember in particular was a family with two boys, not at all happy about leaving their friends behind in North Carolina. They came over for a visit before making the final decision. The wife, too, was reluctant but we found out that she loved sailing, so a trip to Santa Cruz won her over; the teenage boy was mad about lacrosse, so we found and introduced him to one of the few lacrosse coaches around at that time (this was several years ago) and his younger brother was a crazy skateboarder so a tour of the local skateparks convinced him this was the place to be!

So get to know someone in your new area, or better still, a relocation expert who can find the answers to your kids’ questions and you can reassure them that life will go on in Silicon Valley!